Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Life..Death, Getting Older, Change, Normal..nothing will ever be the same agian!

It's been a long time since I have wrote on my blog..so much has been going on...this has been one of the craziest years ever..First my cousin..Cindy died..of a brain tumor, she had just found out about it and a week and a half later she died..a very sad time for our family..a loss so young...we were very close when we were young..but grew farther apart as we got older and had our own families to take care of...she left behind three beautiful children and a new husband...
My Mother passed away June 8th. after fighting a long battle with lung cancer...she fought so hard...and even though I miss her so so much I know she is in a better place..out of pain and watching over all of us..There's not a day I don't think of her and want to pick up the phone to tell her something..but then, to remember that I can't..I know I sound so selfish...but I am so angry..I just want her back so bad..
Sept 1st. I lost my my step-Father..he was the only father figure in my life for close to 30 years....and when he passed it was a total shock..even though he got sick soon after mom passed.. he fought hard and was getting better...just when we thought he would be going home, he took a turn for the worse...I feel so empty inside, even though I have my family...my kids and my husband..I still just don't feel complete..so much is missing...nothing will ever be the same..how I would love to go to my moms and hug her, hold her hand, kiss her cheek...or even see her smile..~everyday I talk to you mom, I hope you hear me~
Sept 6th. just two days after we buried my Father I got sick..what should have been taken care of months ago..but with so much going on..I kept putting it off..sent me to the hospital..in the most horrible pain ever...I had been told sometime before Mom passed that I would need my gallbladder out...well with all that was going on there was just no time for me...so my body tried to pass two stones that got stuck in the bile duct to my liver..which was so painful I could not hardly breath..two surgeries in two states and a week in the hospital...I'm finally back home trying to get things back to normal..well as normal as it can get...sitting here in a very quite house is driving me crazy...To anyone who reads this ..just do me a favor and say a little prayer for our family..I'm not sure how much more we can handle..

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